Be a Wedding Cake

First I would like to say that I really do believe that everyone, and especially every woman, has worth and deserves the same amount of love and respect as the next.

That being said: As an observant, largely single young woman, I have come to notice a noticeable divide within my female peers. This observation has come about through listening to my friends bemoan the fact that, like me, they are also generally very single.

This is definitely a pattern in my life.  Or rather, a common theme.  The women I have surrounded myself with are brilliant, beautiful, successful in their chosen fields, hilarious (I associate exclusively with hilarious people)—yet in our mid twenties, 97% of them are very single.  

This is not to say we/they are not dating.  The girls can eat when they so desire.  However, it is so hard to find men who both meet our emotional and intellectual needs and want to stick around.  Yet time and time again, the boys who don’t seem to want to commit to us, do want to commit to other girls—girls who one could say lead simpler, less intimidating lives.  This is not a criticism of those girls (women?)— see my above statement and further opining on the basic bitch—this is fact.  There are women who just lead easier lives, which is a personal choice and a fine choice and you too deserve love.  But WHY IS IT that in our twenties, it is those women, and not the more aggressive, challenging, complex women, who are finding themselves in long term (at least longer than a couple weeks) relationships?

The answer is easy as pie.  Or cake….

Who doesn’t love a cupcake?  There is a flavor for everyone, anyone can make one, they are the perfect size for a sweet treat, you can mix and match if you aren’t really sure what you like, and even though they may all be different, they are all basically the same.

Men in their twenties are eating cupcakes.  Heck, WOMEN in their twenties are eating cupcakes!   We are all just figuring out what we like and want something that goes down sweet and quick with little to no commitment.

But there are women out their who were never really cupcakes.  They don’t fit into a mold. They don’t look like other girls or think like other girls, or want to be like anyone else.  In fact, they actively try to be different.  It’s harder to find a good match for a woman like that.  Similar to the difficulty one might find in searching for the perfect wedding cake.

Unlike a cupcake, a wedding cake is specially crafted for a specific purpose.  One person’s wedding cake would be all wrong at anyone else’s wedding.  Wedding cakes are grand and detailed and take hours and hours of hard work to get just right. They are temperamental and easy to mess up.  Only certain people even go looking for a wedding cake, and when they do they usually know what they want.

I have come to find that I am a wedding cake.  Most of the women in my life are wedding cakes.   And in 2018 most 26 year olds are just not shopping for wedding cakes. So we find ourselves alone.  And when you are constantly alone and men are constantly choosing other women, you start to feel like something is wrong with you—you think: maybe I should cut yourself down into something smaller that is easier to swallow.  

I have felt that so many times.  

But don’t.  Stay big.  Stay grand.  Because the longer you cook, the more you frost yourself with knowledge and experience, the more lovely and spectacular you become!  You will be able to offer so much more! (are we sick of cake metaphor yet?)

But really—eventually there will be someone ready for you, ready to invest. You are worth the time and effort.

In conclusion… cupcakes are great, but wouldn’t you rather be a little bigger?